Zambian Wedding!

     Saturday afternoon, we were privileged to attend a Zambian wedding! The bride is the daughter of a local pastor and we were graciously received as part of the town “family”. Most of the students chose to attend and we began the afternoon by lathering on sunscreen and packing up our group wedding gift including pots, pans, and bowls that we purchased at the local market earlier that morning. After a dusty three mile walk, we arrived at the celebration!

    The pastor gave a message to the couple and wedding attendants that included  most of the Biblical passages that reference marriage. He placed an special emphasis on the man and woman leaving their families and being united as one. As per tradition, the bride and groom hang their heads low and do not show any emotion of gladness throughout the entire wedding ceremony and reception. (In this culture, to rejoice as bride and groom would be to bring shame upon their family by inferring that they are happy to say “goodbye”). From time to time, an attendant would lift the bride and groom's head and stretch it from side to side followed by gently lowering the head of the bride and groom back down into the solemn posture.

     At the conclusion of the ceremony, the couple did not kiss but left with the attendants to sign the marriage documents. While the bride and groom slowly exited with heads bowed, the rest of the wedding attendants began to sing, dance, and celebrate freely inviting us to join along in the celebration! Surprisingly the singing was supplemented by a wired AV system with recorded music and we noted flashing colored lights from one of the speakers! The celebration died down only after the bridal party returned with the officiators and the signed marriage documents. The signed documents were lifted high and the attendants cheered and the women chimed in with high-pitched shrills of approval. It was time for the reception!

     We made our way out to the huts and were introduced to the traditional Zambian drink pronounced “chibwantu”. It is made from boiled corn and rice flavored by a particular tree bark. The missionary couple explained with a smile, “It is known as the drink that you can chew”. Mmm-mm. Everyone gave it a try, a few even had seconds!

     As everyone gathered for the reception, we practiced the Tonga greeting phrases we learned and smiled and laughed with children. We were seated as guests of honor right next to chairs reserved for the bride and groom. It is uncomfortable to be treated with such hospitality but the smiling demeanor of the hosts and their graciousness only implied that our presence was a delight. To say it was humbling would be an understatement.

     Several dances ensued at this point, including several from the bridal party which ended with a surprise throw of hard butterscotch candies and gum. Let me tell you, these gals did not throw underhand – a few of us got caught off guard, especially when the first row ducked! The one disadvantage to having a front row seat of honor! Finally, the newly-weds followed them in – yes, heads still bowed! (If they are caught with a smile on their wedding day, they are punished with a small fine payable to the master of ceremonies - we were assured it was small.) Mercifully, after another head stretch, they were each brought some orange soda to take as refreshment, but even still, the newly-weds were very reserved and methodical in movement.

    Several cakes were brought before the couple, but before they could cut the cake, one last dance was in order: the knife-girl dance! A young preteen girl danced her way to the couple bringing the long-awaited utensil. The married couple cut a piece of cake together, the groom fed his bride, and finally they kissed! (...but still no smile! Too bad for the MC!)

     Each attendant individually presented their gift while the crowd peered on and many sang and danced. Traditionally, when all the gifts are collected, the cash amount and total number of each utensil, bowl, and item is announced. We missed this part as we were invited to dine so we could and make it back home before dark. We were given bowls of N'shima (Zambian corn-based staple) and beef with broth – it was so good!

     It was a lovely 3 mile walk back home. The temperature was comfortable and we all talked and processed through the happenings of the day and continued appreciating the stark silhouettes as they formed on the Zambian horizon.

     In case you are wondering, the married couple is allowed to smile...the next day. :) 

Posted by RD - Kristin